We Hope We've Failed the Audition

[Treoblogging] The band just finished up a discussion about bizarre musical situations we've been in.

Our bass player "Curly" was once retained by a singer-songwriter (both terms used expansively) for a gig. At the first (and only) rehearsal with the guy, the assembled musicians played the chart down as he sang the first lines:

Have you ever been to God's little river?
Have you ever seen a p***y squirt?

When Curly announced that--ahem--unanticipated scheduling conflicts would preclude his further involvement in the project, the guy pleaded with him, going so far as to offer to pay a few more bucks and even score "a couple of grams of blow."

Here's another elegant lyric, this from the chorus of a punk song run at an audition attended by our drummer "Tom":

C*m stains on the sheets
They don't f**kin' lie!
C*m stains on the sheets
They don't f**kin' lie!

Too, too true.

Finally, when we first met our banjo player "Earl" he was playing guitar in a punk band. And, ah, how well I remember the chorus refrain of one of those tunes, a proceleusmatic little number about Spring Break:

Get laid! Get drunk!
Get f**ked! SPRING BREAK!

And so forth.

That's all for now. But I do wonder what poptimists would make of these works? (Well, no, I don't.)