If the pundits did play-by-play on Game 1 of Lakers v. Celtics 2008:
[Some time in the 3rd quarter...]
Chadwick Maltin:...and we're back. Lakers leading the Celtics here in the 3rd quarter. It's really not looking too good for the Celtics right now, is it?
Keith Olbermann: It sure isn't. But the Lakers have been playing some objectionable ball. We can forgive them their rough play, but we will never forgive them their injuring Paul Pierce. Not a word about the inappropriateness of fouling. If that's the way the Lakers are going to play it, the only honorable thing for them to do is to withdraw from this game.
Maltin: I'd agree, Keith. And even with this short term advantage, there was that nasty news from the polls -- oddsmakers put the Celtics up 2 1/2 going into this thing. I'm reducing the Lakers' chances of winning Game 1 to 12%. The Lakers are as good as dead.
Maureen Dowd: Besides which, haven't we had enough of the Lakers at this point? Haven't they already been world champions? The basketball world is so tired of dynasties. Why don't they just get out of our faces?
[A bit later...]
Maltin: Well, with Pierce back in the game, the Celtics have taken the lead here in the 3rd Quarter, 75-71.
Dowd: I just don't understand why the Celtics can't close the deal.
Olbermann: Neither can I. Someone needs to take the Lakers into a room until only he comes out.
[Now in the 4th quarter, 1:37 left, Celtics leading 86-82...]
Maltin: Well, the Lakers have essentially no chance of winning at this point. 0.5%.
Dowd: I don't get it. Why don't they just quit?
[Dead air, as Pierce sinks a freethrow...]
Olbermann [irritably]: Why. Don't. They. Quit?!
Richard Cohen [wearily]: I'm beginning to loathe this game...
UPDATE: Now that they've helped "beat the bitch," your pundit class receives a modest reckoning.
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